True Stories From Archi

Here's a true story i witness from the sidelines...

So.. there's this crazy bee-itch named Gabby @ my old job ....
She's a graphics designer/ secretary. She's a flirt/ blackmailing ho...
She likes to flirt with the executives at the job - where they think they cant actually sleep with her.
They go so far to leave dirty messages on her voicemail or leave voicemails asking her out - when most are married.
She then saves the voicemails for a rainy day. So she said.
In any case, she had a boyfriend who she would have 6 with in the office after hours. She bragged about it to all the CAD designers who were all in the 20s like her...
So one day... One of the executives(Tim) walked into his office - only to find a white stain on his carpet. And his (Tim's) papers on his desk where shuffled. Tim was one of the guys that came on to Abby and so his imagination of 6 in his office was the 1st thing that popped in his head.
So he(Tim) calls the Office manager (John) to clean it up. The office manager(John) is the guy who's the boss for all overhead staff. He orders supplies, etc etc.
The office manager(John) calls the mail clerk(Clint) who's his right hand man. He's 20 something so he knows about Gabby.
So the 3 of them are in the office and Tim & Clint are fully aware what that white stain is - as they all stand around it and wonder what it is....
Clint can read Tim's face and sees Tim knows what it is but is playing dumb for John's benefit who's in his 60s.
John the old guy- says - ''its must be donut powder. Clint scratch that and verify''
Clint replies with a snicker --- ''No, that's ok John'' Tim chimes in- '' I just want it out of my carpet & What the hell are people doing eating donuts in my office afterhours?''
John kneels down and scratches the white stain and smells his nail tips and then tastes it.
Both Clint and Tim gag queitly. John catches one of their facial expression and finally gets the hint what he just tasted.

Gabby months later gets fired when she decided to mess with a CAD designer who was more savy than she was...
He gathered everyone and anyone who was done wrong by Gabby and had them file formal complaints against her...
With approx. 20 comaplaints against her... she was gone that same day .. when the CAD guy started his campaign...

PS
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This girl - Gabby was horrible...
There was this kid who was balding and a young pretty girl who had thinning hair... at this old job of mine.
Gabby went online to have free samples of rogaine sent to these individuals.
And then there was this other fella who was in his 40s who she was strongly flirting with ... who she had free samples of ''depenz adult diapers'' sent to him.
She sent free samples of flavored c-o-n-d-u-m-s- to a few guys as well...
There was this older lady who would wear heavy perfume, she signed her up for free samples of ''summers breeze''..
She would also (when no one was sitting at their desk) send *** emails to other males from a male's workstation.
This chick was pure HAVOC.
PSS
When she was dismissed... Clint was asked to download all her voicemails to a floopy disk.
Clint listened to all of them before handing them to HR... which he shared with me.. LOL
Let's just say that the women of HR didnt like what they heard on that disk... but the men did no wrong to the company so nothing was publically said to them but I'm sure... the Regional manager spoke to each one on the side and let each one know... what was on the disk....
Months later...
She filed suit against 5 men in the office.
My career ended before i ever found out what was the end result...

OK...
Here's another true stories i think...
While doing my freshman year in college, one guy decided to share an old war story with a group of us while we were pulling an all nighter for the next day class....

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So its senior year in highschool.... c-o-c-k-y- loud group of guys...
about 8 guys that are friends... 4 have girlfriends and the other 4 like to play the field....
so there's this one guy who never cared for being tied down and always wanted to have a hairem...
So its senior year and this guiy start the year off by organizing a road trip to the local strip club.
All but 1 guy goes...
Fun night is had.. no one gets into too much trouble...
the following month same thing different place...
Then there's a couple of nightly events at New York city nightclubs
Spring rolls around and the mister excitment... decides to venture into the ''street corner'' market.
Apparently this guy has been cruising the street of New York city and his eyes were captivated by this young beauty....
But still a kid and couldn't approach the professional on his own... he had to try to rally the boys together and make another event to mark Senior year in highschool...
So its a Sunny day, Saturday in the afternoon and the its 4 of them... that go on this road trip...
So... there's the brief debate on who goes 1st... and why...
Of course Mr. Excitement feels he should go 1st since it was his idea...
So they drive by and pick up the young Latin beauty from the corner...
They ask her to sit in the backseat... and ask if its alright if the $20 act is performed in the backseat on him while the car is in motion??? They fear the young beauty might be a cop....
Its agreed as it ok...
So the 3 guys are squashed in the front seat and the Mr. Excitement is having the deed done...
While they cruise around the neighborhood.
The driver at this time is yelling at Mr. Excitement not to make a mess in the backseat...
The ''pro'' says i dont finish...
As this is heard by the driver.... the driver once again yells not to make a mess in the backseat...
Mr. Excitement doesnt pay any mind as he makes a mess in the backseat...
The ''pro'' then asks.... ''Did you like it?''
His response as he's tucking his shirt into his jeans....
''Yeah baby i enjoyed it''
The pro then gets angry as the boy clearly didnt mean it and didnt make eye contact when he said the words..
So the ''pro'' asks again...
The response is the same as he's now zipping up and adjusting his belt...
The ''pro'' gets angry and says ''HEY''!!!! and at the same second the ''pro'' grabs his nuts... and jerks it hard...
And SPEAKS WITH A FIRM TONE ''So did you like it alot''
The boy scared and in pain - lift his hands up in the air as if he's being held-up...
And looks into the ''pros'' eyes and says...
''Yeah baby, I loved it''
The ''pro'' then reaches between its legs and grab a hold of its ---member-- and says ''Good enough to suck mine?''
The kid yells as if he saw a ghost...
and the driver and guys ask what's wrong... as they swirv the car in fear....
the boy YELLS ... PULL OVER - PULL OVER
The driver & others yell, '' WHY?''
the boy yells, '' Its got a DxxK!!!!''
They pull over and they all jump out and drag the pro out of the backseat....
only to kick and beatup the guy on the street...
They drive off...
The following day in school everyone knows the story and boy is made fun of...
... he suffers the humiliation for the next months until senior year ends for him ....
Ashamed of the incident which even his family heard of....
He picks a college in another state where he moves off to and is never heard from ever again...

Ok... so here's another true story...
I just got laid off and its about a month after the fact and I'm hanging out with my former co-workers at the local pub....

Its late...
And 2 old timers - Process piping engineers.... are haning out this night...
And decide to re-live memory lane...

So Gonzo(field person) and his dept manager Wendel are old friends - who actually hung out, picking up girls in the past.
So some drinking occurrs ... and Gonzo starts in with some old stories ....
One story was when Gonzo & Wendel were both married (as Gonzo said) and they were hanging out some where in New York City.
Gonzo & Wendel were kidding about going to Florida after seeing some bikinis on TV. 2 girls were nearby and Gonzo says
hey wannna go to Florida. The girls say are you serious? ... We don't have a change of clothes.
Gonzo says ... we'll buy you clothes ..... So the girls are hyped and go w/ Gonzo & Wendel in Gonzo's Caddy.
So the 4 drive down the NJ turnpike and get to exit 7 on the pike ... and Gonzo says he has a headache
and he can't drive no more. So they get a hotel and party all night long ..... (no detail was given
about the partying ... although it was implied something happened) .... Gonzo & Wendel then leave the hotel as the girls ask what about Florida and our
clothes. Gonzo throws a few singles at them and says here go buy some clothes and drives off ...... leaving the girls behind as the slute the two guys with the ''bird''....

Same night....
And this is the next story told by those old timers....

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Gonzo recalls another time .... this time he's in the Atlanta office.

He got a little drunk and feel asleep in the stair well.
He somehow stumbled into the stairwell and the doors got locked behind him, he couldn't get out. Security comes and gets him a few hours later. They ask him whats he doing there ... and he explains. He then asks how did they know to come and get him. Security tells him that the doors have sensors. Apparently when you go into the stairwell ... there's a timer waiting for the another door to open that shows ... the person has exited the stairwell. Since Ron was locked in ... they got an alert to go get him.

The security guards then tell Ron they caught the "Process Piper Department Manager" humping a female employee (Process Piper) in the stairwell and caught it on camera within the stairwell. The female had to be fired but the DM kept his job.

I heard this story as if it happened in the employee gym .... I guess it had the telephone line affect.... stairwell must of become stairmaster....
And so forth and so on it became the stairmaster affair...

ok here's one that involves me....

Me and my friend go out to a Hooters bar to shoot the s-h-i--t---
And its getting late...

I explain to him i gotta go... I got a kid and I need to be home before he goes down... othewise i'll wake him up when i get in...
I get razzed about being responsible and all...
I'm like whatever... you'll be there someday....
As i try to leave he catches the eye of this young girl... who wants to talk and hangout...

I'm like good... now i can leave... she'll keep you busy...
He's like no... stay ... she's got a friend...

Geez... i aint got time from this...
So after some silent arm twisting so as not to embrass him in front of his soon to be nightcap... i tell him an hour more..
I think she clearly just wants someone to buy her drinks. He says if that's the case, he wont buy a round at all.
They talk and i just hangout doing nothing.... i just buy a round and move on.
As I'm about to leave she tells him that her and girlfriend will later be at some diner around midnight...
So its 8pm and i gotta go....
He gets mad but i need to leave and tell him to pick up another friend to ride shot gun....
needless to say he manages to find another wing man...
he meets with the chick @ midnight.... and they go outside to her friend's SUV. They jump inside.... and have their fun...
He still doesnt buy her a round...
When he gets back to his seat... she and her friend call it a night.

So he calls it night too...
As he drives home... he notices his wallet is missing and $200 in gift cards. Apprently her girlfirend took his wallet and will buy herself her own round - on him... LOL

Scope (mouthwash)

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Ok here's another one i remember from my days at my 1st A/E job....
LOL

btw.. we had 2 floors... and a total of 120employees at its highest point of prosperity

So anyway...
There was this heavy set chick who was an engineer, in her 20s... and pretty much a geek... but with some money her pocket to burn... acted a little like girls gone wild... wanna-bee... and she was "BI"... likes both girls and boys
So let's call her Gidget.

anyway... turns out she had this crush on this soccer jock in college who was another engineer to be....
This guy used her for fun... and she knew it...
So Gidget would give this guy happy endings... to put it politely... LOL
And occassionally pick him up whenever he got drunk at the Jersey Shore (beaches) .... and drove him home.. which was like 1hour to 2hours away... not too mention the same hour or two to go get him...

After they graduated... he still kept in touch .. at least twice a season... so roughly... 4 seasons... equals 8 times a year...
he either drove to see her or she would drive to see himm...

Now...
No one at the job knew any of this history until one day...
Clint the office manager assitant saw Gidget drive across street to the neighboring building...
He saw a guy - clearly out of Gidget's league- step into her car while they parked in the back of the building...
Needless to say ... from away afar...
you saw 2 heads and then one person sitting up...
minutes pass and he gets out...
And she drives back...
The next day the same thing happens again...
Clint then laughing - goes up to her cubicle... and waits for her there.... to break balls...
She gets there... but tells Clint to wait...
She then grabs a bottle of mouthwash in her desk and goes to the kitchenette... and freshens up...
LOL
Clint snickers as she comes back and says what's up????
Enough said...
The truth comes out- LOL
and now 5 years later... you heard it too... LOL
BTW
Turns out the guy was working a big construction company which was across the street from us...
Hence the renewed friendship....

True story...
So we have 3 co-workers...
Sally an 2nd level helpdesk staff.
and 2 engineers... Jay and Nate...
Jay use to help Sally with some tech stuff when she needed at the job.
Nate did the same but Sally and he a flirting thing going on...
anyway....
like all giants... this enigneering company laid many off in its downsizing era...
Sally would always speak... well of Jay at home to her hubby. So much that her hubby believed Sally had a crush on Jay. She spoke of Nate too... but not as often...
One day after so many months have passed by... and all 3 have new jobs...
Sally wanted to get together for lunch...
So Nate calls Jay to come along... since Nate & Jay kept in touch...
On the way over to meet Sally... Nate tells Jay that he and Sally did something on the side after they got laid off...
Jay's mouth drops to the floor.
Nate further tells him this will the 1st Nate sees Sally since that night.
So they get over to the place... and its Sally and her husband...
Totally unexpected as Sally said it would only be the 3 of us.
Turns out Her husband was in the neighborhood for his job, which was like an hour away.
So the guys sits down and look at the menus.
Sally breaks the ice and says so Jay hows the newborn. Jay says the kid healthy and good - barely a year. Sally goes on and on - on how cute the baby must be with Jay's looks. Nate kicks Jay underneath the table implying Sally's trying to make him jealous.
Sally's husband jumps in and cracks a joke... "Are you sure its yours?"... It might be Nate's or the mailman's...
Dead silence at the table.
Jay gets a little mad.. and alomst blurts out... to the husband about Nate & Sally...
Sally seconds later changes the subject as she sees Jay's disappointed face....
They eat. and all go on the merry way.